I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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