She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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