This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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