Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
