ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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