I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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