I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
