How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
