singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
