HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
