Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think a kid would responsible me up
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
