I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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