So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
