I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
