i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
