Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
