Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
