Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
