can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
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I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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