They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
