Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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