This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
