I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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