plz talk dirty to me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
