you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
