The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
