carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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