and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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