I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize