Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize