i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
