I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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