i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
