i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
