dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
