I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
