If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We are all done wearing pants today
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
