You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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