Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
