chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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