he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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