he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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