all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
