Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
