Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
