her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just pee around me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
