Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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