Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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