i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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