She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize