the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
