How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
