You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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