Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
