Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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