nut hugger
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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