i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
