I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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