HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
