porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
