I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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