So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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