the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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