No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I love you. Go after that dick
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize