so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
