I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
