Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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