worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
